fresh every day.

My beautiful roommate has a birthday today! I am so glad to have...

Fri, 24 May 2013 13:34:17 -0400

My beautiful roommate has a birthday today! I am so glad to have met this one and look forward to another year of weird adventures, armchair psychology, and late nights at Catch. XOXO, BPE.

the last time i saw my dude's parents, they'd come by his apt, unannounced, one morning to find me, dressed haphazardly & playing mariokart on his couch. i'd met them once before, but they had no idea i was having regular sleepovers w/their son (at the time, it was a new thing). 'twas awkward but not unbearable. it's been a few months now; he invited me to a party (he's graduating) at their house & i'm all nerves ablaze about it. help? ps. we haven't DTR'd but are exclusively sleeping together.

Fri, 24 May 2013 13:27:39 -0400

Dress conservatively, bring a hostess gift for his mama, look them straight in the eye and flash a big smile when they greet you, and do not bring up that infamous morning until/unless they bring it up first.

Ask. Answer. Anything.

So I met a guy at a wedding and we had a lot of fun- danced the entire time. He texted me after the reception to say that he also had fun and that it was nice to meet me. I'm asking you because I feel that you'll give an honest answer, but would it be weird to text him about possibly meeting up for drinks? Is there a breezy & casual way to do this, or is it a terrible idea?

Fri, 24 May 2013 13:25:50 -0400

Do you live in the same town? If so, hit him up about happy hour one day. Let him know it’s a group effort. More the merrier.

If he responds favorably or declines but suggests another time, he’s worth the pursuit. If he declines with no mention of a later meeting or if he doesn’t respond at all, kick that bonehead off your planet and move on.

Ask. Answer. Anything.

Do you believe men and women can be just friends? You talk/post a fair amount about your female friends but I don't see a lot of platonic dudes up in the mix. A month ago I would have rolled my eyes and been, OF COURSE guys and girs can just be friends, but since then, two of my three best dude friends (the third is in a serious relationship with an awesome chick) made it clear they wanted more, and I'm not on the same page, Are men-women friendships a lost cause, or am i just doing it wrong?

Fri, 24 May 2013 12:06:00 -0400

I don’t have a lot of male friends. I have a lot of male friends who would like to sleep with me or I with them, so we call ourselves buddies and bide our time till one of us gets drunk enough or sees the light—or we call ourselves friends and pray that the other person never gets so drunk or misreads a gesture or a word or a parting glance…

Actually, I take that back. I have one true friend who is a man. But we dated in middle school and got the romance out of the way. Ever since high school, when he chased my friends and I his, relations have been truly platonic. (I think.) Plus, he lives on the other side of the country, so there is never an opportunity for either of us to screw things up.

I grew up in a house full of women before moving into a sorority house full of women, and I have always lived with women and women are familiar and women are my friends, and men are still the mysterious, romantic other, and none of that is conducive to a social life full of dude pals. But to each her (and his) own.

Ask. Answer. Anything.

Hints.

Thu, 23 May 2013 11:25:00 -0400

At least three coworkers in the last week: I always interrupt you when you're eating.
Me: Yeah, well, I'm always eating.

My grandmother and namesake Cary Randolph Cooper at home in...

Tue, 21 May 2013 13:09:00 -0400

My grandmother and namesake Cary Randolph Cooper at home in Virginia.
I never knew her. But sometimes I feel like she knows me.

looking for super-classy prom dresses, with unique detailing. any ideas?

Tue, 21 May 2013 12:14:31 -0400

J.Crew, girlfriend. Hit up that bridesmaid section.

Ask. Answer. Anything.

I'm visiting NYC for the first time with a couple of girlfriends in May. What are a couple of places you'd recommend where we can go dancing? Can you share some pics or ideas for typical going-out outfits in NYC? ps: Love you, love your blog.

Tue, 21 May 2013 12:12:54 -0400

I’m late to the game on this one (sorry!), but if dancing is your jam, then you should go to Finale, Lavo, Bowery Electric, Joshua Tree, or XS. And when I go out here, it’s almost always in a short-short, a high heel, and a tank or tee that I don’t mind getting splattered with booze and then slept in. Have a great time!

Ask. Answer. Anything.

PROMOTED!!!

Mon, 20 May 2013 10:56:00 -0400

It’s finally official: As of June 3, I am Senior Editor of RL Magazine.

This book is my baby. Two years after writing my first article, it is so thrilling to take the reins and recast RL Mag as a more dynamic and provocative publication with a worldwide scope and distinctly American point of view—one worthy of its namesake.

I love a rainy day, but we’ve had too many lately. Anyone...

Sun, 19 May 2013 15:18:07 -0400

I love a rainy day, but we’ve had too many lately.
Anyone else feeling the bad-weather blues?

Hi Cary! As a fellow Missourian turned city-dweller, I love your blog. I'm going to a wedding Memorial Day weekend in Memphis that is black tie optional (my boyfriend will be in a tux) and in a beautiful old hotel. Any suggestions on a go-to black tie optional dress for someone who is thin but on the busty side? It's hard finding something not strapless or boob-y.

Sun, 19 May 2013 15:11:54 -0400

Ralph Lauren Blue Label has gorgeous wedding-appropriate dresses to complement your figure, like this one, this one, and this one. Have fun!

Ask. Answer. Anything.

I love maxi dresses (patterned, plain, bare, covered), but I do not love cardigans with them. I am 5'8 / hourglassy with a little more sand in the bottom and like to emphasize my smaller waist. Besides my denim jacket, what can I throw over one to look casually chic? I've been looking for a non-blazery white blazer to start...

Sun, 19 May 2013 15:08:22 -0400

pureDKNY does these great vests and jackets that have a slightly sporty vibe, draped lapels, and silk textures. Denim & Supply has printed bombers, fatigue jackets, and vests to reinvent your dresses a hundred ways. But I’m a fan of slipping an open-knit sweater over my maxi for a laid-back, layered vibe that still lets the dress play starring role.

Ask. Answer. Anything.

Bachelorette party this weekend and we have to wear black dresses. I procrastinated, couldn't find something 'more fun', so I've got a black sleeveless, church-acceptable length, chiffon-y wrap dress. It does have a pretty plunging neckline... Styling ideas? Trying not to look too ladylike.

Sun, 19 May 2013 14:57:56 -0400

Find a gorgeous belt, add a big earring and a bold red lip, and slip into the highest heels you can stand. Voila. From church to club in three easy steps.

Ask. Answer. Anything.

Hey Cary! Love your blog, your fresh take and crisp writing is fantastic. I'm a university student living in Paris but moving to Washington next year (Go Hoyas!) - was wondering if you have any recommendations of things to do, places to eat, places to go out, etc. Also my Parisian wardrobe is essential LBDs and, well, other black accoutrements, and I've been told those won't fly on an American college campus. Any suggestions to adjust me wardrobe?

Sun, 19 May 2013 14:56:46 -0400

Hie thee to J.Crew, Milly, and Ralph Lauren because you’re going to want a lot of bright, casual basics that can get you from dorm to class to bar without making a change. Think cashmere cardigans, printed sundresses, cut-off jean shorts, espadrille wedges, oxford cloth shirts—preppy stuff. But don’t toss those LBDs, as they are always great for a night out, whether you’re in Paris, D.C., or Timbuktu.

Ask. Answer. Anything.

You would think that since I have to spend the bulk of my summer...

Fri, 17 May 2013 17:15:00 -0400

You would think that since I have to spend the bulk of my summer in sports bras and training gear, I wouldn’t want a bikini that resembles said bra. But no. This suit by MICHAEL Michael Kors is my Sporty Spice dream. As Jane said, “It looks like the Everlast two-piece I had in fifth grade.” Ah yes, back in the day when we called it a two-piece.

"Going to bed with someone you don’t love is a lot lonelier than going to bed alone."

Fri, 17 May 2013 14:44:46 -0400

“Going to bed with someone you don’t love is a lot lonelier than going to bed alone.”

- Mom

Books I have read recently and liked.

Thu, 16 May 2013 13:26:00 -0400

Books I have read recently and liked.

Hey Cary, I am graduating from college this May and will be moving to a brand new city all by myself just cause I've always wanted to. I've been applying for tons of jobs, but so far no bite. I'm not opposed to waitressing or barista-ing to make ends meet until something comes up. But as someone who will have a degree I feel sort of lame not getting a "big girl job" right away. Thoughts?

Thu, 16 May 2013 11:10:00 -0400

Girlfriend, between the time I graduated (with two diplomas) and now, here are some of the jobs I’ve had: waitress, retail sales associate, intern, baby-sitter, hotel receptionist, cocktail waitress, temporary office assistant, depressed, unemployed bump on a log.

Money is money however you get it, and there’s nothing shameful about folding sweaters or changing diapers or slinging lattes till you land on your feet. One day, you’ll get a “big girl job” and look back fondly on the days you could do whatever you wanted because you weren’t due at the restaurant for sidework till four o’clock. Trust me.

Ask. Answer. Anything.

I'm 23. Met a guy a few years older (online), seemingly harmless, very smart, has a great job and great manners. He's interested and he's coming on strong and I'm feeling nervous (history of past skittishness). Classic case of you want what you can't have, or legitimately founded skepticism in online dating?

Thu, 16 May 2013 10:51:00 -0400

This sounds like a case of skittishness, but I would not blame you for being skeptical. There’s something (to me) very unnatural about meeting guys online. I believe in fate (God’s plan, etc.), and the notion that one can just go to Match and pick out a man like she’s picking out a cardigan does not sit well. I’ve done the Match thing, and that slimy feeling never washed away.

However. May this guy is just coming on too strong. Maybe you’re not ready for that kind of commitment. (If it feels like pressure, trust your gut. You’re not ready.) Cool things off for a few, tell him to slow his roll, and see how things evolve.

Ask. Answer. Anything.

My friend Max made this rad blog: Cross-Eyed Models.

Wed, 15 May 2013 10:57:08 -0400

My friend Max made this rad blog: Cross-Eyed Models.