Anonymous said: I'm 23. Met a guy a few years older (online), seemingly harmless, very smart, has a great job and great manners. He's interested and he's coming on strong and I'm feeling nervous (history of past skittishness). Classic case of you want what you can't have, or legitimately founded skepticism in online dating?

This sounds like a case of skittishness, but I would not blame you for being skeptical. There’s something (to me) very unnatural about meeting guys online. I believe in fate (God’s plan, etc.), and the notion that one can just go to Match and pick out a man like she’s picking out a cardigan does not sit well. I’ve done the Match thing, and that slimy feeling never washed away.

However. May this guy is just coming on too strong. Maybe you’re not ready for that kind of commitment. (If it feels like pressure, trust your gut. You’re not ready.) Cool things off for a few, tell him to slow his roll, and see how things evolve. 

Ask. Answer. Anything.