Everyone knows that...
…I am a girl of fairly simple expectations: I drink Tanqueray with soda or chardonnay or light American beer. I don’t order frou frou milkshakes masquerading as martinis, and I would rather sauté my own eyeballs than sip Scotch.
But lately I’ve switched it up, and I’ve discovered that in many instances, it pays to imbibe with versatility. In fact, I’ve filled a veritable scrapbook with memorable drink orders!
Bacardi and Diet takes me back to my lowerclassmen college years – to nights spent at the Beta house and on filthy dance floors, to the pre-nothing-but-a-dress-will-do days when you could find us bedecked in Sevens and a cheap top. I have started drinking it again lately when I need a caffeine jolt at midnight. Of course if I really want to see the sun come up…
Sugar-free Red Bull and Grey Goose does the trick marvelously. I can’t stand the taste of RB; it reminds me too much of Robitussin, and I would sooner lay down in traffic than mix it with cherry or grape flavored vodka. However. It is popular, and with good reason. Weekends last a lot longer when I stay awake from Thursday night to Sunday morning. Should this not be my main goal…
Lime-flavored beer fills me up and never lets me down. With Michelob Ultra now on the sugary bandwagon (christening their low-carb cervesa “Lime Cactus”), I can pollute my body and take care of it at the same time! And I can do it all without going through the rigmarole of slicing and stuffing limes down my Corona longneck, which, let’s face it, was a real pain in the ass. And while on the lime kick…
Diet margaritas give me the best of both worlds: I take the express lane to Blackoutville and stay in Skinny City after knocking back just a couple of these concoctions. Ask your friendly neighborhood bartender for Patron on the rocks with a splash of Cointreau and two limes. It tastes like…a margarita…in Hell…but at least you’ll earn the respect of whomever is mixing the cocktail, and even if you don’t, who cares? You probably won’t remember ordering it anyway.
Here’s looking at you, lovers!
