fresh every day.

This is me on Match.com:

• “Thank you for the compliment, but no.”
• “You are not 35. You look 60. No.”
• “You live in Queens. No.”
• “Your screenname is ‘2Tuff2Follow’. No.”
• "No, please do not contact me again.”
• “You live in New Jersey. No.”
• “Nice emoticons, but no.”
• “You are 5’6”. No.”
• “I think you are still married so no.”
• “You don’t punctuate. No.”
• “I would have said yes, but no.”
• “No, I will not call you sometime.”
• “No, I’ve never tried bikini modeling.”
• “You live in Texas. No.”
• “You misspelled ‘confident’. No.”
• “Is that hair gel? No.”
• “No.”
• “No, thank you.”
• “Fuck, no.”
• “CHRIST. NEVER.”