Party 2 Go Go Go
I am going to confess a dirty little secret that most if not all runners keep close to the (illuminating safety) vest. I run for face time.
This motive becomes most obvious when I visit smaller towns, as I did last week. I wait till rush hour (which lasted all of twenty minutes) and set off on my six-miler, Jock Jams blaring, ponytail bouncing, and I pick the busiest thoroughfare or the one on which I expect to see the most acquaintances, and I run. Because I am so certain that friends and frenemies will drive past me and wave, the thought of slowing down never crosses my mind. I skip along Providence (in the college town) or Murphy (in the home town) or Hanley (in Saint Louis) or Warwick (in Newport News, V.A.) or Thames (in Newport, R.I.) or 206 (in Princeton, N.J.) or…or…or…
(The fact that I can rattle off street names without the aid of Google Maps should illustrate how seriously I take my social sprints.)
I remember the first three-mile route I plotted as a freshman in 2003; it took me past the best fraternities and my crush’s house not once but twice to maximize exposure. And on holidays at home old friends often bumped into me at the (only) bar, exclaiming, “I saw you running today!”, thus proving my oft-tested theory that jogging along main drags is akin to breezing through a cocktail party: wave, grin, bop on by.
Later, when you run into those same people at real cocktail parties, you immediately have something to talk about: how fast and fresh you looked skipping down the street, what an inspiration you are to non-runners, your latest marathon, blah blah, et cetera. And to you, of course, it’s old news. But to this person who last saw you in their rearview mirror, it’s miraculous that you’re even alive. And to show their appreciation for your athletic prowess, they might even buy your next gin and tonic.
It’s all a matter of timing and style. Don your classiest spandex. Hit the pavement by five pm, aim for the biggest grocery store in town, and you’re bound to see a friend’s mom or a former professor or the local chiropractor. Keep your back straight, your gait jaunty, and don’t forget to smile. Be social! Run for face time!
