Hello! I'm a fellow Missourian and am coming to NYC for the first time (how is this possible?!) with a group of friends. We have some great dinners planned but need help with the rest. We don't want to be too touristy... What should we do? Where should we eat for brunch/lunch/everything in between? More importantly, what should I wear?? Ps congrats on the ultra!
Get lunch at Gemma, dinner at Lafayette, and dance your ass off at Bowery Electric. Through it all, black leggings and a paper thin tee, black leather jacket, black bootie, hot pink lip. Have fun!
You have a good eye and classic taste, and I'm wondering what your ideal engagement ring and wedding band would be. Or possibly just nix the engagement ring and go for a simple band? Looking at rings for my future wife (I hope!).
My ideal ring is Asscher cut, two carats, set in a platinum band. While I love the idea of scratching the blood diamond altogether and just wearing a plain band when I get married, I’m also really conventional. The ring is the thing. (And thank you for the kind words.)
Hey CaryI have been following your blog for a while and always find it insightful and entertaining. I recently quit a job that I loved but the work environment was toxic and ended a long term relationship . I am at a loss as to what my next steps. You seem to have it all - great job, great friends, great city - and I was wondering if you could provide a little advice on how to get there? Thanks!
Hi miss (or gent), consider all the upheaval a blessing in disguise. My M.O. at such moments is to throw myself into a crazy project—learn a new language, train for a triathlon, mentor a little kid, get the finances in order and save for something big. Kick it all off with a wild night out. Rally your friends, hit the champagne, and next morning, chug a green juice and go for a nice long run. Self-improve for no one’s sake but your own.
But how did I get where I am, you ask: a lot of determination and a lot of luck. I set my sights on New York early and rarely looked back (minus that brief Newport/Saint Louis hiccup) and stopped at almost nothing to stay here. Wherever you are, fall in love with it. Fall in love with your friends; make them your family. Do things for them that they’ll never forget: Send flowers to their offices, have everyone over for dinner and a movie, and call them on the phone to say hello when it’s so much easier to text. Hunting for a job? Make it your full-time job. Start a blog, a portfolio. Brand yourself. Do your best work. Love nursing? Volunteer at the local free clinic. Want to teach? Sign up to be a substitute and head back to school. Apply everywhere for everything. Go out every night. Network, network, network. And drink less! For some reason, nothing clears my head or makes me feel better about myself and the future like teetotaling. Sad but true.
help! last night I was invited to the after-party of this [super new] boy's black tie work holiday party ... which is THIS Friday. The after-party is also being hosted by his company [a consulting firm]. We're in Boston [ie, it's FREEZING!], my budget is $100, and I would ideally love to pair the dress/outfit with a sick pair of black suede booties that make my legs look fab. any ideas? thank you!
Fuck shopping. Pair your favorite LBD with a fresh new red lipstick, a sheer tight, and a bootie by Jessica Simpson. (She does a great inexpensive shoe.) Glowing skin will be the finishing touch. Have fun!!
Cary, dear, I fear I'm getting older. I trust you. Any recommendations for under-eye firming creme, or whatever the hell it's called? xo
Oh girl, I know that song. But I’m not doing much about it yet beyond moisturizing with argan oil twice daily and this stuff every night. Drink water, wear sunscreen, watch what you eat, etc. etc. etc. And remember that getting older is a privilege and you’d rather have fine lines than be dead.
Dang. Where have I been all your lives? Time is moving too fast. We spent Thanksgiving at the beach; it was just the unplug-and-do-nothing break that I needed, but something was missing. Mom, Dad, Jane, Emily. I had a cold. Couldn’t play outside. Never enough fresh air and the light faded at four. Still, chocolate cake every day and Nebraska, which was very good.
Tonight through Sunday: Miami! Six days of beach running, art party hopping, and a private tour of the whole joint by seaplane. Follow my adventures there in real time via Instagram.
Last night: While running, made a pit stop at the mid-Manhattan NYPL branch. I haven’t checked out books in years, but it was all so familiar: finding the right stack, searching the author by last name alphabetical, seeing where that search lead—one, two, three—three books was enough to carry home (while still maintaining an 8:00/mile pace). They really do smell like nothing else—words and aging paper and, yes, a little bit of filth, but that’s part of why reading is so thrilling. You never know what you’re going to catch. Finished one last night (The Lost Boy by Thomas Wolfe) and starting Philip Roth’s Goodbye Columbus on the plane. Have you read either? What do you think?
Mister: good. Work: okay. Running: not much. Home: Liquiteria on 15th and Eighth. Want: long hair again and a tan! One of those is attainable. The other, patience, patience, grasshopper.
2013 has been the year that I stopped buying throwaway crap and really invested in things I’ll keep forever. My grandmother’s emerald and diamond ring—I paid a lot of money to get it back in wearable condition, and now I will never take it off. The marled gray sweater with the boxy cut—I wear that just about every other day. The goose down coat with the shearling lined hood—even in today’s sub-freezing temperature, I felt perfectly toasty. Call it a shopping addiction if you must, but for every piece I added to my wardrobe (like the white leather handbag for all seasons) and my apartment (the violet rug with the Moroccan pattern), I gave two away. Invest. Purge. Repeat. This was the year I figured out my stuff. These are the hall-of-famers that I (hope to always) swear by:
There is one kind of bumper sticker I see almost daily here in my small Midwestern town: a small oval printed with “26.2” or “13.1.” In case you’re lucky enough not to know what these numbers represent, let me explain: They indicate that the driver or someone in the car has run a marathon (26.2 miles) or a half-marathon (13.1 miles).
There is only one reason running aficionados display the stickers. They want the rest of us to know about their long-distance feats. So let me be the first to offer my hearty congratulations. I’d even offer to give them a pat on the back—once they’re done doing it themselves.
What’s with this infatuation with running and the near-mandatory ritual of preening about it?
Hi Cary! Going to visit Boston this weekend to watch a BC football game(/see a boy) and in a total dilemma about what to wear. As a city girl with some southern ties to me football games are Lilly dresses and Friday nights are heels, but I don't think this will fly with Boston temps and cobble stones. Issue #2 is I'm taking the bus, so it all has to be tucked away nicely. Thanks so much!
“Never give in — never, never, never, never, in nothing great or small, large or petty, never give in except to convictions of honor and good sense. Never yield to force; never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy.”—Sir Winston Churchill
Hi cary! Can you recommend some stylish cold weather wear outfits? Im a california girl leaving to visit vegas next month (where it gets super cold at night). I want to look cute but stay comfortable. Thanks!! Love ya.... Ps long time reader here, believe i found you through mary rambin way back when!
This is a little embarrassing, but I'm 34 and about to attend my first real country-club event. My husband's boss and wife (lovely people!) are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary. Of course they asked for no gifts--should we bring something anyway? What should I wear? We're in conservative, rural Virginia so I don't know if I should dress up or dress down. And why am I so nervous?
Cocktail dress (not black) with a wrap and heels and bring tons of flowers and a sweet card. You’re going to have a great time! xx
When I realized about a month ago that, between ultra training, a promotion and unexpected upheaval at work, my sister’s engagement, and holiday travel, I would not have the time to devote myself to my Camp Interactive marathon project, thereby likely missing my $3,000 minimum goal, I emailed the race organizer at Camp Interactive for help. Could I donate less than the minimum, I asked, or have an extended period of time to meet my goal?
The answer for both questions was a flat no. I started to sweat. Through CrowdRise, Camp Interactive will automatically charge my credit card for the difference between goal and monies raised on November 2. That amount is currently $1,500. That isn’t pocket change; that’s more than a month’s rent! Thus for the past several weeks, I have lain awake at night racking my brain for ways to raise money for a charity I frankly no longer care about. I have emailed every ex-boyfriend, top-level executives at my company, family members, Facebook friends, FrED fans. I have shouted into the void.
If you read Mary Pilon’s article "Hitting the Wall" about marathons and charities, published Friday in the New York Times (or if you are running the ING New York City Marathon for a charity or were asked to run for a charity but declined or have been hit up repeatedly by runners looking for donations), then you know that the run-race-to-do-good bubble has officially popped. My roommate sent me the article today after a heated discussion about how sick and tired we are of fundraising—and feeling guilty and resentful for not raising enough—even though months ago, we (perhaps stupidly) pledged thousands of dollars in exchange for a race bib.
Here’s what I know about the act of charity: Give what what you want. Tithe if you wish to tithe. If you pledge $3,000 dollars to an organization and can’t meet that goal but raise, say, $1,500, you’re still giving $1,500 that the organization didn’t have. And maybe you’ll give more later or you’ll work to earn money for another organization. And everyone gives now and then, and now and then, they cannot, or it’s not their top priority, and this is how people remain generous without going bananas.
Reading Pilon’s article yesterday, I realized that I’m not alone in my pre-race fundraising frustration. And that the very friends and family who I hit up for cash have already given and are still inundated with requests. CrowdRise’s motto is: “If you don’t give back, no one will like you.” But why should anyone feel obligated to give over and over again? And do organizations like Camp Interactive truly believe that locking voluntary supporters into set fundraising goals—with the threat that they will be held accountable for any money not raised from outside sources—is sustainable? That it will breed goodwill toward the organization? When is enough enough?
That answer, for me, is now. I’ll never again support another charity that raises funds through CrowdRise. I’ll probably never want to work with Camp Interactive again. And I’ll definitely never again marry fundraising to my long-distance running hobby. In this past month, all the joy and anticipation of training for and potentially finishing the ING New York City Marathon has been sapped and turned to blood-boiling resentment. I’m pissed off at CrowdRise, at Camp Interactive, at the system in general which allows runners to buy their way into a race by asking friends to help chip in, using charity as an excuse. But most of all, I’m furious at myself for signing up for this goddamned race in the first place.
Two questions for you! 1) Where do you purchase those fabulous turtlenecks? They certainly aren't the kind that my mother used to wear. 2) Any recommendations for a decent hair stylist in NYC that doesn't charge $300 for a trim? Your cuts are always fantastic. Merci!
My turtlenecks are by Ralph Lauren Blue Label, and my best friend KAM swears by the cuts at Tease on the Lower East Side; a wash, cut and color is less than $40.